Her Most Heavenly Majesty Dragon Queen Zhang Latifah Ruocheng (English: Zhang Ruocheng; Mandarin: 张若城 or 張若城 ; pronounced /Shang Shong-Sheng/), also known as The Crazy Chinese and The Grand Thief of Hainan, is a serial criminal from China. While living in Moscow, Ruocheng repeatedly violated Russian law. Notable for her obesity and lethargic stature, Ruocheng suffers from severe mental illness. She never brushes her teeth. In 2020, only after receiving emergency assistance from the programme supervisor, Ruocheng achieved her master's degree with the average grade "Less good".
Queen Latifah Ruocheng was born in a cave outside Hefei (合肥) in Anhui (安徽), China. Later in life, she moved to Haikou (海口) in Hainan (海南) and then to Macau by hiking with truck drivers.
Descendants of rice-picking slaves, Queen Latifah Ruocheng's family rose to prominence during the Cultural Revolution 1966-1976, stabbing and stealing their way to a higher social standing.
This was a period where the few cultural and intellectual people in China were looted and murdered by savages, illiterates, and dysgenic varieties like Queen Latifah Ruocheng's own, feeble-minded family.
Today, this criminal bande call themselves "lawyers". Queen Latifah Ruocheng herself has a long record of housebreaking and theft.
Photo of Queen Latifah Ruocheng's dad and mum:
Queen Latifah Ruocheng's academic career hasn't been a success, to say the least. She allegedly spent six years completing her undergraduate education in law, which normally takes four years.
Nonetheless, after finally obtaining her law degree, Queen Latifah Ruocheng has introduced every second sentence with phrases like "As a lawyer" or "I have studied at law school".
In 2018, Queen Latifah Ruocheng enrolled in the graduate programme "Public Administration" at Higher School of Economics in Moscow. Understandably, she was a fee-paying student, not one of the students with a scholarship.
At HSE, Queen Latifah Ruocheng would spend most of her time on everything else but studies. Unable to sit down and do schoolwork for more than ten minutes, this chatterbox always walked restlessly around the dorm to chit-chat and preferably engage in rumours and spread gossip.
In class, Queen Latifah Ruocheng was noted for her disinterest in the educational process, instead watching YouTube videos on her mobile phone, checking her Facebook profile, and disturbing her sideman who was trying to listen to the lecture.
Queen Latifah Ruocheng never worked independently with or mastered the course materials. When asked to hold a presentation, she often read straight from the paper.
In the second year of study, however, Queen Latifah Ruocheng's academic performance went from "lack of motivation" to "completely helpless". This had become evident in June 2019, when Queen Latifah Ruocheng presented her term-paper, earning her grade 4 out of 10. "What's wrong with you?", the head of the programme exclaimed.
Later that autumn, the result of deteriorating mental health, Queen Latifah Ruocheng was placed under the direct custody of the head of the programme, who also had to act as her thesis supervisor, while her classmates were able to decide a thesis topic and find a supervisor by themselves.
In June 2020, Queen Latifah Ruocheng managed to complete the programme and obtain her master's degree. This was only possible by meeting the absolute scientific minimum and with a lot of cheating and plagiarism.
Queen Latifah Ruocheng attended every single lecture and all seminars, but eventually got the lowest GPA (around rank 20 of 28) among the programme's actively participating students. Her GPA is around 6.50 out of 10, which is considered "less good"—yet higher than "satisfactory".
Queen Latifah Ruocheng's social modus operandi is to force herself onto others, relying on that most people be too polite to reject her. And if someone doesn't want to socialise with her, Queen Latifah Ruocheng will likely initiate a retaliation campaign.
Queen Latifah Ruocheng's life is centred around her mobile phone, in which she finds social company and entertainment, and which also functions as her psychologic therapist. In class, Queen Latifah Ruocheng would normally be seen staring down into her mobile.
Queen Latifah Ruocheng had great challenges understanding and adapting to the civilisation. Alike many of her her Chinese compatriots, Queen Latifah Ruocheng persistently and repeatedly violated Russian laws, disrespected Russian social norms, and insulted Russian culture, sometimes deliberately but mostly because they were too ignorant to know better.
This was ostensible during the early COVID-19 pandemic, when Chinese students returning to Moscow disobeyed police orders to self-isolate, spreding the virus in exponential numbers across the Russian capital.
Queen Latifah Ruocheng didn't have Russian friends while living in Russia. Instead, she mainly socialised with other Chinese students. Moreover, she spent much time in the African expat community in Moscow, who for some reason fancied her effeminate voice, prompting Ruocheng to assume the title of Queen Regnant of the Africans.
Economically, Queen Latifah Ruocheng is poor as a rat. She only owns two pairs of clothes. She has allegedly never had a full-time employment. During her stay in Moscow, Queen Latifah Ruocheng unsuccessfully tried to get a job at the Chinese embassy in Moscow (中国驻俄罗斯大使馆). Rumours have it that she aspired to replace Ambassador Zhang Hanhui (张汉晖).
From the moment when she sat her feet on Russian soil, Queen Latifah Ruocheng displayed a persistent criminal conduct, including repeated violations of the laws of the Russian Federation.
Her unwillingless to live lawfully and abide by norms and customs got Queen Latifah Ruocheng into trouble during her stay in Russia. Several times, she was reported to Russian police for violating the criminal code, disciplined by academic staff, and summoned to the dormitory manager's office.
Here are some of the criminal activities that Queen Latifah Ruocheng has committed while in Russia:
*) Queen Latifah Ruocheng is of course not capable of hacking an electronic device, instead receiving assistance from a third party.
Known as the Grand Thief of Hainan, this notorious kleptomaniac can't turn around without stealing something in her vicinity. In the Higher School of Economics student dormitory where she lived in Moscow, Queen Latifah Ruocheng would sneak into other people's rooms and steal things.
When you see Queen Latifah Ruocheng for the first time, her obesity and lethargic stature are the most striking sides of her aspects.
Queen Latifah Ruocheng's regular diet consists of bats, pangolins, and her favorite dish fried lizzards in sweet-sour sauce. In Europe, however, Queen Latifah Ruocheng developed a fine taste for the McDonald's menu, dining in their restaurants in the morning, daytime and late evening.
Queen Latifah Ruocheng suffers from severe mental illness. This isn't only visible in her antisocial behaviour and lack of hygiene, as described above, but also in her drawn face, apathetic eyes, and protracted, passionless voice.
Queen Latifah Ruocheng was a virgin until 2019, when she found an older, less attractive Russian man who was desperate enough to plow her king-size ass. The affair was short-lived, however, as the poor fellow soon realised what a psychopath he had engaged himself in.
Later that year, the graduate programme's craziest student found the programme's dumbest student when Queen Latifah Ruocheng met and married Prince Alphonse Badolo, "of Sunyani in the region of Bono in the country of Ghana".
Queen Latifah Ruocheng is now (2020) the happy mother of three Sino-Ghanese children, namely Prince Zhang Alphonsecheng, Prince Zhang Jinpingcheng, and heir apparent Prince Zhang Bonita Ruocheng, the future Queen Bonita Ruocheng II.
The dense intervals between the births are yet to be explained by science, but "Long Schlong Phonsy", colloquially known as "Alphonse luvs to assbounce", has a huge appetite for big, Asian butts.
Queen Latifah Ruocheng has a dog named Yan Li (Yang Lee). Although anatomically a human, Yan Li eats like a dog, sleeps like a dog, and actually barks like a dog. Obeying every signal from his mistress, Yan Li assisted many of Queen Latifah Ruocheng's burglaries.
A native of the Shanghai region, Yan Li was enrolled in the Chartered Financial Analyst graduate programme at Higher School of Economics. Despite spending six hours a day playing PC games and another six hours talking on the phone, Li managed to graduate.
Photo of Queen Latifah Ruocheng's dog:
Queen Latifah Ruocheng's full titles and styles are:
However, Queen Latifah Ruocheng refuses to adopt the title of Princess Consort "of Sunyani in the region of Bono in the country of Ghana", considering it inferior to her own imperial lineage.
She is also a Bachelor in Law, which she completed after schedule, and also holds a Master in Public Administration, graduating with the lowest GPA among the actively participating students.
A former beauty pageant, Queen Latifah Ruocheng became Miss Manchuria XXL in 2016. However, she had to see herself beaten in the finale of the Cardiac Candidate of the Year competition.
- In June 2020, Queen Latifah Ruocheng instituted The Royal Order of the Dragon's Lost Garter. In addition to the Queen herself as Grand Master, the Order is divided into the ranks of Commander and Knight. Below is a presentation of the Companions of the Order, including why they were installed.
Commanders of the Royal Order of the Dragon's Lost Garter
Prince Alphonse Badolo, "of Sunyani in the region of Bono in the country of Ghana" (June 2020)
"To all whom this letter patent shall be seen or understood, present and to come: BE IT KNOWN that I the Dragon Queen have assented, as I hereby assent, that:
My beloveth husband Alphonse, the Prince "of Sunyani in the region of Bono in the country of Ghana": I love thee, for thou makest My insanity complementary with thy stupidity. I and thou are one, like Chinese yin and yang.
My Most High, Noble, and Potent Prince Alphonse, I bestow upon thee and thy heirs male of the body lawfully begotten, eternal as thy pelvic bone: The Title of Duke of Beijing and Sichuan; Count of Hebei, Chongqing, and Fangchenggang; Viscount Peking Duck; the Instant-Noodle Prince; the Kung-Fu Panda Baron; and Commander of the Royal Order of the Dragon's Lost Garter.
In the Forbidden City on the 17th of June in the Year Two Thousand and Twenty, Under My Hand and Seal:
Her Royal and Imperial Majesty
Dragon Queen Zhang Latifah Ruocheng the First"
Knights of the Royal Order of the Dragon's Lost Garter
Noel Alter, of Pakistan (June 2020)
"We have taken keen pleasure in Noel Alter's exquisite talent for spreading sexual information about others while retaining an outer image as a well-mannered and intellectually irreproachable gentleman.
For his efforts and achievements, We Queen Latifah Ruocheng the First hereby create aforesaid Noel Alter Knight of the Royal Order of the Dragon's Lost Garter and Count of Our Imperial Fief of Wuking (武清区) in Tianjin.
In the Forbidden City on the 17th of June in the Year Two Thousand and Twenty, Under Our Hand and Seal, Zhang Ruocheng Regina et Imperatrix"
Davide Cravero, of Bari, Italy (December 2020)
"To Our utmost delightment, Davide Cravero has demonstrated supreme contempt for Europe's rule of law by resorting to wild, untamed vigilantism to solve conflicts that he has created. The Chinese Communist Party doesn't have to lift a finger when Europe is savaged by internal enemies like Davide Cravero. Bravo bravissimo!
For his efforts and achievements, We Queen Latifah Ruocheng the First hereby create aforesaid Davide Cravero Knight of the Royal Order of the Dragon's Lost Garter and Count of Our Imperial Fief of Huangshan (黄山) in Anhui.
In the Forbidden City on the 6th of December in the Year Two Thousand and Twenty, Under Our Hand and Seal, Zhang Ruocheng Regina et Imperatrix"
Chen Haochen, of Fujian (福建), China (September 2021)
"A true, ill-bred felon of the Chinese peasant estate, Our compatriot Chen Haochen is now on the run in Russia, wanted by the police for abduction, robbery, AND extortion! That's more than Our cowardly ass dared to do while living there. With his misdeeds, punishable by several years of prison, Chen Haochen does not fail the overall bad reputation that Chinese expats in Moscow have striven to earn with their primitive mentality, disgusting behaviour, and persistent criminal conduct.
For his efforts and achievements, We Queen Latifah Ruocheng the First hereby create aforesaid Chen Haochen Knight of the Royal Order of the Dragon's Lost Garter and Count of Our Imperial Fief of Putian (莆田) in Fujian.
In the Forbidden City on the 13th of September in the Year Two Thousand and Twenty One, Under Our Hand and Seal, Zhang Ruocheng Regina et Imperatrix"
The Queen's Noblemen
On 21 January 2023, We Queen Latifah Ruocheng the First have most graciously decided to elevate the following individuals to the Estate of Nobility:
- Cao Jing, Master of Governance of Science, Technology and Innovation, Higher School of Economics (HSE)
- Chen Yanting, Master of International Relations: European and Asian Studies, HSE
- Chang Hsuan, Master of Business Strategies: Management and Consulting, HSE
- Chen Qiuyue, Master of Marketing, HSE
- Gong Changbin, Master of Financial Analyst, HSE Banking Institute
- Gong Enze, Master of Computational Linguistics, HSE
- Han Suenghee, Master of Big Data Systems, HSE
- Huang Meng, Master of Governance of Science, Technology and Innovation, HSE
- Hou Yaoming, Master of Foreign Languages and Intercultural Communication, HSE
- Kan Wai shan, Master of Linguistic Theory and Language Description, HSE
- Liang Chih-jung, Master of Data Journalism, HSE
- Li Yan, Master of Financial Analyst, HSE Banking Institute
- Mu Chengbin, Master of Foreign Languages and Intercultural Communication, HSE
- Shih Ting-cheng, Master of International Business, HSE
- Song Xiaonan, Master of Governance of Science, Technology and Innovation, HSE
- Sun Jianbo, Master of Mathematics, HSE
- Wang Tsuen ing, Master of International Relations: European and Asian Studies, HSE
- Xu Zihao, Master of International Business, HSE
- Wang Congyue, Master of International Relations in Eurasia, HSE
- Yang Yi-wen, Master of International Relations: European and Asian Studies, HSE
- Yan Naing win, Master of Political Analysis and Public Policy, HSE
- Zhang Jianing, Master of International Business, HSE
- Zeng Xiangsi, Master of Applied Statistics with Network Analysis, HSE
- Zhang Yaming, Master of Financial Economics, International College of Economics and Finance
- Zhao Shengxian, Master of Mathematics, HSE
- Zhu Yang, Master of International Trade Policy, HSE
The Count of Putian on a wanted poster in Moscow
The Saga of the Dragon Queen
To be continued ...
This page was published on 18 Dec 2020 (UTC) and edited on 20 Dec 2020, 11 Apr 2021, 14 Apr 2021, 10 Jun 2021, 16 Sep 2021, 21 Jan 2023. Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.